Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – 48 Hilarious Sayings About Thanksgiving

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Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, Cranberry Sauce, Green Bean Casserole, Cornbread! Yes, You are right, its time to celebrate thanksgiving day. Thanksgiving Day or You can say, a national holiday in the United States celebrating the harvest and other blessings of the past year. It is a time to spread positive vibes, and celebrate the festival/event with family and friends. Kids enjoy Thanksgiving day by playing several types of games, decorate images on cards, listening to inspirational and thankful poems, etc. Wishing your friends and family Happy thanksgiving with some funny and hilarious quotes can make their day more special and make them smile. When someone’s birthday is on the day of thanksgiving day, to double the celebration, you can use our humor-filled quotes to wish them birthday as well as thanksgiving in a funny way. We have a good collection of Short, Funny thanksgiving quotes or sayings which you can send and share with your friends and family.

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

“What do police officers eat on Thanksgiving? Corn on the cob.”

“Thanksgiving is an attitude that must be rooted in the ‘gift of life’ if we ever hope to be thankful for the ‘gifts’ of life.” – Craig D. Lounsbrough

“It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.” – Phyllis Diller

“Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes, a building can’t jump at all!”

“The observance of Thanksgiving Day had been derived from the Pilgrim Fathers.”

“Archeologists 10,000 years from now will believe this was a sacred feast where gravy boats were worshipped.”

“It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.”

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” – Jon Stewart

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.”

“On this Thanksgiving day, let us be grateful that we were not born turkeys.”

“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”

“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.”

“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.”

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”

“Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.”

“You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.”

“We began to view Thanksgiving as just another paid holiday.”

“I pray for you, that all your misgivings will be melted to thanksgivings.”

“Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man’s side, consequently on the Lord’s side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and extend the usual annual compliments.”

“Thanksgiving-giving thanks in everything-prepares the way that God might show us His fullest salvation in Christ.”

“Thanksgiving is the one thing God asks to be done in everything and always— He knows what precedes the miracle.”

“In 1863, Abraham Lincoln declared two Thanksgivings. One was held in August. The second, held in November, was to give thanks for the nation’s blessings. This fall celebration caught on and has been a tradition ever since.”

“Why do so many people shop for cars around Thanksgiving? It’s a good time to buy an autumn-mobile.”

“Which weighs more, a pound of fruit or a pound of nuts? Neither, they both weigh a pound.”

“My first thought in the morning is thanksgiving.”

“Thanksgiving is a nice thought.”

“Why wait until the first Tuesday after Thanksgiving to give. Just give a little every day and help somebody along the way.”

“Thanksgiving is a spiritual exercise, necessary to the building of a healthy soul. It takes us out of the stuffiness of ourselves into the fresh breeze and sunlight of the will of God.”

“Living in thanksgiving daily is a habit; we must open our hearts to love more, we must open our arms to hug more, we must open our eyes to see more, and finally, we must live our lives to serve more.”

“Thanksgiving is not only being aware of the abundance of good in the world but embracing it.”

“The purest form of thanksgiving unto God is reflected in our knowledge and understanding about who He is, not what we receive from Him! Thanksgiving is a continuous celebration of God’s awesome nature and Supreme Being!”

“Thanksgiving means thanking the givers.”

“A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear them consider saying “that smells good” to be helping.”

“Thanksgiving – when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook.”

“Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.”

“We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.”

“I like football. I find it an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversations with your family on Thanksgiving.”

“I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.”

“Store security stopped my wife at the door for trying to steal a butterball turkey. I had to show ID proving I’m not a butterball turkey.”

“Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks.”

“A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No they’re dead”.

“Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home.”

“Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey, because it is always stuffed.”

“The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat.˜Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ But we do that every day Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?”

“How to cut a turkey the Republican way: give 1% of your guests 99% of the meat.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.”

“When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat!”

“We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.”

Send these funny Thanksgiving sayings to your friends and family and make them laugh for good. Share these quotes on Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, LinkedIn, Text, Email, etc.

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